How Do You Solve A Problem Like Shane Gooseman?
by Red Witch
Summary: Every try to make a Supertrooper take it easy if he's been injured? It's not a pretty picture.


**The disclaimer saying I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters is in the infirmary. Just some more fluff inspired by 'First Steps on the Long Road Back.'**

**How Do You Solve A Problem Like Shane Gooseman?**

"I swear Commander I had no idea he was in here!" Q-Ball panicked. "He must have set the controls to the charging platform on his own! I don't even know how he got in here!"

"This is Shane Gooseman! He can figure out how to get in **anywhere** he wants to!" Commander Walsh fumed as he kneeled next to the unconscious figure on the platform. Shane was dressed in his ranger uniform and lying face down, unconscious.

"I thought he wasn't supposed to charge up his Series Five implant for at least three months," Doctor Nagata, the floating brain said.

"He isn't! But as usual Gooseman got impatient!" Walsh snapped as he struggled to turn Shane over.

"Is he…?" Q-Ball gulped.

"Unconscious? Yes," Walsh said. "In trouble? **Definitely!** But other than that he'll be fine. Until I **kill** him for pulling such a ridiculous stunt! Goose! Gooseman wake up!"

Walsh slapped Shane's face to try and bring him around. "Ohhh…" Shane groaned as he woke up. "That was a little more painful than I expected it to be."

"According to my scans his bio-defenses are at fifty percent capacity and seem to be stable," Q-Ball scanned him.

"Any calls while I was out?" Shane groaned as he sat up and looked around.

"Shane Gooseman…" Walsh gritted his teeth. "You little…Of all the reckless…irresponsible…thick headed…!" With a frustrated yell he hit Shane on the head.

"OW! What was **that** for?" Shane rubbed his head.

"For being an impatient **fool!"** Walsh bellowed. "If you had a middle name it would be INSANE!"

"Yeah but it worked…" Shane winced. His muscles were sore. "Somewhat…"

"Q-Ball go get Ranger Niko," Walsh ordered. "Nagata go ahead to my office. I don't want any **witnesses** around right now."

"Uh oh…I know **that** tone," Dr. Nagata gulped as he left the room.

When they left Walsh knelt down and hit Shane on the head again. "OW! You don't have to hit me!" Shane rubbed his head.

"Yes I do, because apparently the only way to get any message through your **thick skull** is to rap your brain repeatedly!" Walsh roared. He slapped him again. "You were always a stubborn, reckless infuriating **child** who always went and did whatever stupid stunt he wanted and apparently you haven't grown out of it! I tell you to do something for your own good and do you **do **it? No! You **don't **do it! You do the **opposite** and try to get yourself killed!"

"Commander…" Shane winced.

"Don't even **think** of trying to justifying what you've done!" Walsh kept going, standing up and pacing back and forth. "You always had to learn things the hard way! No matter how much I tried to tell you to follow orders for your own good, you wouldn't listen! You just went ahead and did whatever you felt like no matter what the consequences were! And you've done it again! What were you thinking? Just what the hell were you **thinking?"**

"Well…"

"WHAT? WHAT?" Walsh yelled at him.

"I just thought I could get my strength back," Shane said. "I mean just lying around being useless…I…I can't **do** that. You of all people should know why Commander."

Walsh nearly kicked himself for not realizing it sooner.

"I understand your reasoning for it but this **isn't** Wolf Den, Shane," Walsh sighed.

"I know but…" Shane let out a breath. "I just can't shake that feeling, you know?"

"I guess I can understand that," Walsh relented. "Shane your status is a lot different than it was two years ago. You've proven yourself to be a true Ranger more times than I can count. The Board of Leaders isn't even that concerned over the escaped Supertroopers anymore. No one is just going to freeze you on a whim."

"But they can still do it if they can find a good enough reason, can't they?" Shane looked at him.

Walsh couldn't look at him. "The Queen and the Crown Empire is more of a priority. Not to mention all those other maniacs running wild. MaCross and his gang already broke out of the Deltoid Rock again."

"Why am I not shocked?" Shane grumbled. "That prison can't even hold water much less criminals! I guess I should be grateful to them. If it wasn't for those losers I wouldn't have an excuse for not bringing in any of the Renegade Supertroopers."

"Times have changed Shane," Walsh looked at him. "You're more valuable to them out there than frozen."

"Which is all the more reason I **can't **just lay around here," Shane attempted to stand up but couldn't. "Ooh…Too woozy. Commander…? Please tell me the room is spinning…"

"Shane Gooseman what the hell am I going to **do **with you?" Walsh groaned. "**Besides** making your life a living hell when you get back on duty?"

"Spinning room…" Shane felt very dizzy. "Seriously Commander…Things are kind of getting out of control here." He lay back on the floor.

"Unbelievable…"Walsh swore under his breath. "You are **unbelievable.**"

"Shane what did you do **now?**" Niko burst in. "Shane!"

"He's fine! He just passed out!" Walsh snapped.

"I'm awake now…sort of," Shane groaned. "Niko, make the room stop spinning please?"

"Q-Ball told me everything," Niko told Walsh. "Except why Goose would do such a stupid, reckless thing!"

"Who knows why Goose does stupid, reckless things?" Walsh snapped. "He just does!"

"I know he can be an idiot but I didn't think he would be **this** stupid," Niko shook her head.

"Guys seriously, I'm in the room here," Shane groaned. "Wish I wasn't…Ooh…"

"Get a wheelchair and take him to the infirmary to get him checked out just to be on the safe side," Walsh growled. "And then take him back to Zachery's place and make sure he **stays there!"**

Shane could hear Walsh ranting about something else but passed out again. When he awoke he was lying on the bed back in the guest room he was staying in. Niko sat by his side, looking worried. "Shane?"

"Hey babe," Shane grinned.

"Are you okay?" Niko asked.

"Yeah I'm fine, just a bit sore," Shane struggled to sit up.

"Good," Niko smiled. Then she hit him on the head with a rolled up magazine.

"OW! Why is everyone hitting me today?" Shane winced.

"Because you are being an idiot," Niko snapped. She hit him again.

"Ow! Come on Niko! I already got my head torn off by Commander Walsh," Shane grunted. "Talk about overreacting."

"Only because he cares about you," Niko said folding her arms.

"Yeah…" Shane grunted, only partly because of the pain.

"I'm serious, Shane," Niko said. "You scared the hell out of him when you pulled that stunt! Don't you know you're the most important person in Commander Walsh's life?"

"I doubt it," Shane gave her a look.

"You are Shane," Niko said. "Think about it. When you were in that coma he hardly left your side. He's watched over you all your life. He protected you when Wolf Den fell. And you don't need to be a psychic to sense the pride in his eyes when he talks about you."

"Wait…Walsh sat with me all that time?" Shane was stunned. "I mean I knew he sat by me for a bit but I didn't…"

Niko smiled. "It's clear to anyone with half a brain that Commander Walsh sees you as the son he never had."

"He **does?**" Shane's eyes widened.

"When he yells at you like that it's obvious he does it because he cares about you."

"Funny, I always thought when he yells at me like that it's just because he's ticked off."

"Well can you blame him? What were you **thinking** pulling a stunt like that?"

"Supertrooper heal thyself," Shane muttered. "At least that was the plan."

"And did it **work?**"

"Ow…" Shane felt sore all over.

"Serves you right!" Niko snapped. "I can't believe you were so impatient! What if your bio-defenses didn't work properly? You could have been seriously hurt, or worse!"

"I **am** hurt," Shane muttered. "My muscles ache like crazy."

"And you expect **sympathy** for this?" Niko glared at him.

"It worked didn't it?" Shane said. "A little at least…I'm not so weak any more. Okay I'm not a hundred percent but still…"

"But why did you do it Shane? I know you still have issues because of Wolf Den but that's no reason to put your life in danger," Niko asked.

"It is. I just can't stand being weak any more," Shane shuddered. "I hate feeling useless!"

"Shane…"

"The other day Doc tackled me and put me in a headlock!" Shane let out a breath. "Doc! I'm the one who's supposed to put **him** in a headlock! Not the other way around! It goes against nature!"

"Really?" Niko raised an eyebrow.

"He fed me oatmeal Niko! He stuffed that nasty stuff down my throat and there wasn't a thing I could do about it!" Shane huffed.

"So in other words, you put your life in danger because your pride couldn't stand it when Doc beat you **once?**" Niko's temple began to pulse with anger. "You nearly gave me and Commander Walsh a heart attack just because for **one moment** Doc was stronger than you? And making you eat when you needed to eat? And taking care of you?"

"Well when you put it like that…" Shane gulped.

It was then that Niko repeatedly hit him with the magazine. "YOU IDIOT!" She roared. "YOU STUPID…BRAIN DEAD….AAAGGGHH!"

"OW! OW! OW!" Shane tried to shield himself. "Niko! Cut it out! That hurts!"

"Stop whining you big baby," She kept hitting him.

"OW! Come on Niko! I'm already in agony here! Ow!" Shane whined.

She stopped hitting him and threw down the magazine in rage. "I can't believe your ego! I swear you are the most infuriating man I have ever met!"

"Yeah but you gotta admit, I'm also kind of cute," Shane grinned.

Niko gave him a death glare. "You want me to hit you with the magazine again?"

"No," Shane gulped. "I'll be good."

"You bet you will or else I will hit you with something **harder** than a magazine," Niko made a fist. Shane winced. "All right, your muscles still hurting?" Shane nodded meekly. "Fine take off your shirt and lie on your stomach."

Shane obeyed and did as he was told. "I don't know **why** I'm doing this," Niko grumbled as she massaged his sore body. "You deserve every bit of suffering you get."

"Maybe you just want to see me with my shirt off?" Shane smirked. To this Niko responded by pressing harder. "OW!"

"Now why would you say such stupid things to me when you are in the position you're in, and I'm in the position **I'm in?"** Niko smiled as sweetly as a crocodile.

"Got it," Shane winced. "Keeping mouth shut."

He closed his eyes and simply let Niko massage him. The touch of her hands on his skin, kneading his sore muscles felt like heaven to him. He let out a contented purr.

"You've never had a massage before?" Niko asked.

"Not like this," Shane let out a breath. "It's…so good."

"I forgot," Niko realized. "You're not used to being touched are you?"

"Hmm," Shane purred. "I could get used to it with more practice. I think I'm going to like taking lessons from you."

"Just as long as you've learned **this** one," Niko warned him.

"I'll be good," Shane purred. "Remind me to learn how to do this so I can return the favor."

"Hmm that's **definitely** an idea," Niko smirked. "Feel better?"

"Actually…Yeah. " Shane checked his body as he sat up. "Now that I've got the kinks worked out, I think I've at least got half my strength back. Which means…"

He made a large insane grin. "I am going to need **oatmeal**. **Lots **of oatmeal!" He got up and headed for the kitchen. "Doc is gonna **get **it!"

"I give up," Niko hung her head. "It's **hopeless.** He's completely hopeless…"


End file.
